Allowances

Alright, it's that time again.

Today is not a bad day, it's a hard day. But, something that is a very big positive.... I know why. Usually, the days are hard and I don't know why which turn them into stressful, get-nothing-done days. But, today I know...

I find myself missing things I've never had. Is that jealousy? Is that envy? I don't know. But I miss adventures that friends have taken or things that other people have that I've never owned. How can I miss them if they were never mine in the first place? I'm struggling with that today.

I have so much. So, so, sooooooo much in my life. The people are too good. The things are valuable, and providing. I have a lot... but the want for more clouds that. I guess today that's hurting my own feelings a bit.

So, how do I fix it? How do I move on from being sad that I don't have a car, or an iPhone, or that I still live in Duluth when I want to be somewhere completely different? I keep going. I start. Start something...by starting. That's all I can do. If I decide to stop moving and sit in my own self pity, Imma be here a LONG time. And I don't want that.

Keep moving, keep starting, allow yourself to be a beginner. And then when you feel stuck again, remind yourself of where your dreams have already taken you. I'm going to try my hardest to remind myself of that in these next few days. Get myself out of this rut and just keep moving along.

The obstacles are worth it, the hard days make for amazing lessons, the strength that comes from feeling weak is unlike anything else I've ever felt.

Cheers.