The days are busy but good, and the nights are lonely and full of silence. It's a weird combo, but I think I'm making it work. I find that the silence creates more noise than anything. I'm able to think, really dig down deep and check in with my emotions. I thought that was supposed to be a good thing? But now I find that I'm a ball of emotions... and yet I never cry. I used to cry at commercials with puppies and now I watch movie after movie that literally has 'You'll cry your eyes out!' on the poster and I just sit there. Is that a bad thing? Is that growing up? Is that numb? I don't necessarily feel numb... I feel like I'm making an effort to really live each day and experience the moments. Maybe I'm just tired...
It's funny when you can feel yourself falling into a lull. Because it's not a bad place to be at. I'm doing really well. You simply find moments of your day (say, at night when I'm alone) to remind yourself that sometimes you get sad or sometimes you don't feel good about yourself. Like, brain, why the reminder? Duh. I guess all I can do is try even harder to remind myself of the good things that happen throughout my days. Really good things, with the best people.
It's a bittersweet funk. It's complicated simplicity. It's life.
What a world.
Cheers.
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