Why?:Unknown

I'm feeling so confused tonight. I was out with friends. I was out with my best people. And I come home and start surfing the internet, and see on Facebook that one of my closest friends from high school has a picture of her and her mom up there. I always have loved their family, so I smile when I see the picture. Then that smile fades as I read the caption that says her mom found multiple brain tumors and needs surgery this week.

I'm so confused. This doesn't happen to people you know, mothers that helped you with your homework and drove you countless times to and from basketball practice. This doesn't happen to them. So why her?

I went to mass today and the homily was about showing up everyday for God. And He'll show up for you regardless, but when you show up, you feel love and strength and power and justice. You feel all the things God is supplying. But on days like today, when my friend is asking impossible questions and holding her family so close... how do we show up? How do we be selfless when the only thing I'm praying about is this woman's health and safety and this family's strength?

I want answers, I want to make those tumors disappear, I want to erase the sadness this has placed on this wonderful 22 year old girl. I want that so bad.

Whenever I talk to my dad about his mom, who passed away too young, he always says that you never know how strong you can be until it is your only option. I pray for the strength of three hundred men for my friend. I pray this becomes a mini-moment. A scare. I pray the recovery is fast and they find moments of laughter. I pray that this blog post isn't just lost words and doesn't mean anything.

I'm just so confused. And scared. For my friend, for the family, for the randomness. In a moment your whole perspective changes. And I still don't get that. I don't think I ever will. Life just isn't fair. In a moment, you go from laughing on a porch with your friends to a pit in your stomach and typing a blog because it's 1:30am and everyone else is asleep dreaming about tornadoes or that one guy they didn't realize they thought about too much. How simply we live until a moment in time makes it oh so complicated.

Complicate simplicity. A tumor, in a brain, so simple. But put it in the brain of an amazing woman, mother, and it's so complicated it hurts.

I typically never share names, because, well, it's none of my business at the end of the day. So, if you pray, or send positivity, or send good juju... know that there is a family that will have a really hard week. Know that this family is full of good people, and they could use your prayers/positivity/juju. And know that it makes me sad I wait for moments of fear of the unknown to focus on what really matters... so don't do that. Cool?