Most mid-weeks are full of caffeine, and me busting my butt to get through the days. But today is a Wednesday, I am in my childhood home with two of my siblings and my parents, and I'm feeling fantastic. We live a very quiet life. Me and my brother are on the computer, sister is reading (which I will do shortly after this blog post) and my parents are upstairs reading. Such a quiet, mundane day... but I wouldn't trade it. It's the complicated simplicity, the fact that life is very complicated, yet we live simple lives and have simple interactions. I don't know, I'm sort of thrilled about that right now.
Home has been good. I think a few more days and I'll be very much ready to return to my home in Duluth. But this has been a great time of reflecting on how I react to things when my parents are not there to pick up the pieces. I'm very proud of myself for getting through the past six months. They have not been easy. But I sit here typing this out... really, really happy. I'm happy. Which I couldn't say six months ago. I couldn't say that four months ago. And I'm not happy everyday. There are certain nights I don't get any sleep and the days are long and I eat too much sugar so I crash before I'm willing to shut my eyes. But, here, in this moment, I can look around and say that I'm right where I should be. I'm happy.
It's not clear skies and blue eyes (did I just make that up?) from here. I know that there will be many more days where I say, what can I do to become happier? But I hope I can remember this feeling on those days. I hope I can look back on feeling this good and smile and say, I'll be there again someday.
It's a lot of work, growing up. It takes every ounce of strength you have to become the best version of yourself. The reward, I'm finding, is worth every moment of weakness I've ever felt.
I hope you find yourself feeling blessed this week. I hope you feel re-energized, like you can take on the world.
Cheers to you.
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