Guys, where the eff have I been? Jeez. Next time, yell at me or something. Kay?
No, in all honesty, it's been a crazy couple of weeks. A lot has happened since I last really truly blogged. Shall I fill you in? Lessdothismotherfucker.
I opened the latest show I was working on, The Nutcracker! I just love this show. I love the people I see every night, I love the story of the show, I love celebrating Christmas, and did I mention the people? They are so great. I just feel... loved. You know? That's a fun feeling, one I do feel very often because I'm constantly surrounded by amazing people... and it just multiplies when I'm around this cast and crew. Love them!
I did have some hard news these past few weeks. One of my best friends died about two weeks ago. I worked with her back home, she was amazing. Could light up a room and make everyone stare, but once she saw you staring she would call you out. That kinda girl. Just the best. I will not sugar coat anything about it, it's completely impossible for me to wrap my head around death. It's been extremely hard. I find I'm more exhausted, I care less about the details of things, I just... get by. Which is not good, it's not what Megan would have wanted, but it is very hard. I will say that with every day that passes I find myself smiling more and more and forgetting the sadness. Living with the memories of her is a beautiful thing. And because we were barely able to see each other, it hasn't really hit me. I don't know how I'll react when it does, but I don't want to know that answer. I'll take it step by step.
Another amazing thing that happened. I don't even know how to talk about this one. I'm in awe of human kindness. So. Ginny. Helped deliver baby. Wrote about it. Lots o' people read about it. Including all of my professors at school. Well, these people. I just... They gave me such a gracious and kind and loving and amazing and how many adjectives can I use kind of gift this week. For those of you that know me, you know that Barnes and Noble beats anything and everything. It's my drug. Well, let's just say that I'll be spending every Saturday night for a YEAR at B&N thank to my wonderful faculty at UMD. And... AND. I have an appointment next week for my very first massage. I'm so nervous! Is it weird to be nervous? I don't really like to be touched (whatever.) so I'm so scared I'm going to get ticklish and freak out. Regardless, I'm just shocked that this group of people pooled together to do this for me. I can say that I love them, right? Because I do. I love my professors. I'm so thankful that I go to school and feel safe, taken care of, and that there are at least a dozen people every day that have my back. There are no words to explain how grateful I am for how much they have done for me. Some of them, with or without knowing it, have given me the opportunity to become a person that would stop on the side of the road and deliver a baby. They have helped and watch me grow up more than any other adults in my life. Man, I'm just so grateful. I will use that word to my grave. But it's how I feel!!!!!
ANOTHER awesome gift I received this week was.... drum roll..... A FREE WILLY DOLL. Stuffed animal. Thing. So. Free Wizzles. Favorite Movie. The ultimate. My childhood. Keeps me humble. The BOMB. If you don't know my love about Free Willy, your the lucky one. I tell everyone, and people are kind enough to listen to me and nod and smile and pretend like they care. Well, my friend Bailey gave me her old whale stuffed animal that IS FREE WILLY. It was her stuffed animal from years ago, and I love hammy downs because the legacy lives on! And it's FREE WILLY! Ah!
So many great things from so many amazing people. But, I will say, that this brought up an interesting question. I was having a really hard couple of weeks. And I was definitely, without question, being a Deb Downer about life. And then, when people gave me things, I was like... LIFE IS GOOD! But, what if people hadn't been so amazingly generous? Would I still be wallowing? I don't like that idea. Either way, I'm so elated that I have people in my life that fill me up with goodness and make me feel every kind of good emotion you can think of. That's grand. This blog post is so messy, but I'm not fixing a dang thing. It's late, I work in the morning, and have a show at night. I haven't slept in a solid three days, and I wouldn't have it any other way. At least now, don't ask me in the morning.....
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