Shake the Dust

Today I learned that sometimes people are mean. And talk about you in a negative way when you are not around and that is gross. Grow up. Give people the benefit of the doubt, and give people the opportunity to speak.

I was able to talk to a few friends about this said bullllllshiiittttt and I got amazing advice back.

There's this thing I do, I try and make every person on this planet like me. Even if I screw up, even if I'm impatient, even if I have a bad hair day. I try and make it so that no one person can say a bad thing about me. And that's fucking exhausting.

This person that did a rude thing? She's not my people. She's, as one of my best friend's put it, is a person on my journey and is showing me what kind of qualities I never want to possess. I'm embarrassed that my name is connected to what she's saying. I'm sad that people may be talking badly about me.... but I have no idea if that's happening or not and it's out of my control. Live and let live.

These next two weeks of my life are going to be extremely chaotic. One of the things on my to-do list is to make a to-do list for every day this week...... WHAT. But, I have an interview this week for a job that would be super fun which I'm really excited about, I think it would be a great fit for me, and the start of a new chapter.

Maybe that's why I'm so anxious about these rumors and people talking about me. I'm writing my own story, my own history, and when people change the version of what I'm working on... I don't know how to react. It's my story. But, I can only own what I create. So, I'll create an environment that forces them to say I am a kind girl that does the best I can with what I have. That's all I can do, that's all I will do.

A dear friend told me of this quote her Grandmother would tell her Dad about shaking off negativity. It's called Shake The Dust, and it's basic message is to go through life not angry or bitter, but to shake the dust off your shoulders and remove that negativity. I wish so badly I could remember the words. I do however, know of a poem called Shake The Dust by one of my favorite poets Anis Mojgani. He's insane. And I'll share this video, go eat a sandwich, and make me some to-do's. Cause I'm a free bitch, baby. (GAGA)

Enjoy. And thanks for reading. I still love this blog and what it's done for me. I get to spit every negative thought on a page and continue with my day. That's amazing. Cheers.

'This is for the hard men who want to love, but know that it won't come. For the ones that amendments do not stand up for. For the ones who are forgotten, for the ones who are told to only speak when you are spoken to... and then they're never spoken to. Speak every time you stand so you do not forget yourself. Do not let one moment go by that doesn't remind you that your heart beats a hundred thousand times a day and that there are enough gallons of blood to make every one of you oceans.'