On My Way

Well, it's been a day. A weird, long day. And I've realized something. I'm horrible at taking my own advice. A few weeks ago I was at mass and the priest's homily was about allowing yourself to be a beginner. Ever since that Sunday I have been telling everyone that. It's my go to piece of advice. And I never use it. That's just stupid. I have to allow myself to be a beginner or else there's no room to grow. And that's what it's all about. You try new things and you go through life becoming a strong and better person by all the times you screw up. Every lesson I've ever learned has been from overcoming an obstacle. So why do I fear the battle? I hope to start feeling empowered by the battle. To allow myself to have a first go at things, and to completely screw up. I don't know how to be anything but myself, even if it's a version I want to change.

I don't know where I'm going, I just know I'm on my way. That's incredibly terrifying, and feels foreign and uncomfortable. I want that to change. I want to feel the adventure of it all. I want to close my eyes and prepare for the wave to crash over me, not knowing when it will come. That's the fun of it all, right? That's the journey. It's about the journey, not the destination... Must remember that more.

I went in to work early to watch the sunrise today after the weirdest night of my entire life.... and if the sun can rise and set everyday... damn it so can I. I can get up and do work and take care of myself and all the things I want/need to do, and I can lay my head down and be okay with making it through another day. Cause some days, when the world is just funny, the only thing you're required to do is get through the day.

I'm excited to go home, crawl into bed, turn on a show that requires no amount of thinking to watch, and to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day, with a new sunrise.... I just might get up early to watch that one too.